u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
