i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
