Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
