on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
