Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And then my night got REAL pukey
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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