and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
