There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
4 words: hood of his car
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
