Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I could make wine with my vomit
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
