she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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