i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
