I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
