all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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