i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize