alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
