Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
