The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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