Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
