margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
