I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
