so explain again why im purple
no
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
