what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This house was built for laser tag.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
