When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
