I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
