Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
