Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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