She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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