still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize