You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
