I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
