yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
