I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize