Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
