They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
