So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
