i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
