he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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