At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I AM VODKA MAN
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize