i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
