My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
