How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
