ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
