it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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