I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
