My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
