oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
