she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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