we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
