I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
