apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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