I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
