Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
