I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You're like the curious george of whores
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
