Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize