so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
