is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize