I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
