I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I am one with the molecules
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
